Wednesday, October 31, 2007

Mark Lists..

Dear Mr. Clause/St. Nicholas,

Santa, I have been a good girl this year (I supposed). Year 2007 has taught me to let go of my comfort zone and pursue my happiness to the extend of pushing my limits to overcome all my fears and doubts that I yearn most. It's also the year I found a lamb which constantly gives me strength to move forward. While you're busy preparing gifts for kids all over the world please do not forget to drop by my place for a visit. I would serve you the best WanTanMee authentically fine. Santa, this is the most wonderful time of the year. When I hear ringing bells it means Christmas is near and a brand new year to look fort. Do you think I could work hard enough to get these items for Christmas. Well, something most girls would do to splurge a little bit for themselves for those hard work or maybe to cover up those sinking deplorable moments. Very soon I believe all this items will come in handy for a start. Let say... a CELLPHONE,


The extra special about this is that it has this Shake control function where a song from your play list is randomly chosen at the flick of your wrist. Talk about laziness.


It's time I get myself a real proper wallet rather than a plastic rubbish so called 'bag'.


I am sorry but I can't help it. This makes every woman go mad.

Monday, October 29, 2007

Nephew and Nieces

I've got 2 nieces and 1 nephew. I love them both. I do! At times I sincerely admit that I can be wicked witch, evil stepmother or old' granny nagger. Unless both my sisters in law decide to drop yet another bomb then I would have as many collection of nephew(s) and niece(s) to come. But up to the current date it's already not bad for collectives address called 'Aunty..fina' or 'Ku Cheh' (Cantonese). I realize both of my nieces have my clan gens generation. Both are very, extremely VAIN! It's so heart drenching to be away from them. Miss them to bits!

Meet my Nephew & Nieces

Charlotte all grown up

used to baby sit her..

Alia & Aliff
VAIN get it?

Vanity strike

lamb-alia or LambAlia
Ermm..that's Andrew's affair
Hai..ya, there goes my lamb..b..

Wednesday, October 24, 2007

Love Stoned, he knows

In life this is reality. Reality bites the dust. I’ve come to the stage where I’ve face the many different scenarios in life. Be it happy, or sad I have fall for both either. Happiness makes you stronger sadness makes your life meaningless just like you’re waiting for the day to get over but it seem long like you’ve been waiting for centuries. I didn’t conquer. Thus left me hang there dangling wandering like a lost soul. All my life this is it. The time where I believe God has given me a big task or is he testing me out. At times I really feel so lost. I do not know what to do when I know deep within me, there wasn’t any intention to hurt no body. It’s really difficult. I succumb to it. Somehow, it left me just like not the Fina I use to be when I was in high school years or even in Uni days. I flip through my little diary I use to have before I left school. I vividly remember how my schoolmates those who are close with me even if you’re not I knew there was words or messages left in this little booklet before we bid goodbyes. Yes, Fina was famously known for her glorious loud LAUGHTER and noise those younger days. They use to quote me asNo Fina no fun, No Fina no joy’. And, I get compliments every year thanking me ‘Hey, Fina keep laughing forever, for without you the class is very very quiet! Thanks for the laughter in the class. . Some said ‘remember: Never stop laughing’. I remember this girl in my class which wrote ‘you really light up our class with laughter so keep on laughing when you see people are gloomy because your laughter will cheer a person up’. I felt as thought I am doing some social charity circus. During my teenage and schooling days, I am a real joker. Very fun, jovial person but I have a very bad character. I’ve never shown any of my doubts or troubles and problems to any of my mates even my close friends are aware of it. That is why they foresee the sad me as Fina is always the happy lucky girl in their eyes. It’s just instilled in me that I would and never show the society how unhappy I am. I am on the verge where I want to break down but manage to control and secure my inner feelings. It’s just skips a bit when ever I think about it. So, when I’ve succumb with trials and tribulations whose there to put a smile on me? My self esteem has died in me. I am so tension that I feel sooner or later my eyes will pop out. Or is it just me skeptical to face the truth? Its true Fergie once sang ‘Big girls don’t cry’ but face the fact, which girls won’t and don’t? My tension has come to the pinnacle where remember my previous post I said I want to do something to it. I finally did it. I don’t mind looking like a lost smurf well at least at the current mood I have half of my stress lift aside. I'd rather be smurf/mushroom better than a CABBAGE!

To my other half ‘thank you so much for constantly being there for me. Thought we are far apart, you assure me always to be strong and have faith. Like you said He brings you to it He’ll brings you through it!’ I’ve succeed and come this far I can’t just go back I’ve got to keep on moving forward I got to be strong and I am not in this alone. I’ll always have you. Thank you and I love ALL of you!

Honestly, it's really a big change. I'mm a smurf!

Tuesday, October 9, 2007

Good Stuff, But No Where To Be Found in Msia..

Trust me, this is holy gooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooood!!

Wednesday, October 3, 2007

Feeling No Emotions, Feeling Numb

Have u ever missed someone and felt terrible because u think that he/she doesn't miss u? Missing someone is a terrible but at the same time,sweet feeling. U will be sitting around wondering if u meant anything to him/her.Thinking if he/she ever cares about u.Rushing to the phone once it rings hoping that it's him/her.Looking out of the window hoping that he/she will surprise u by appearing downstairs. Sitting in front of the television but thinking of him, missing the final episode of your favourite show.

Laying on your bed, thinking of the last time u were out together.Thinking of how nice it will be to sit under the stars again, talking about everything, your dreams,plans,future. Logging on to the internet hoping to see him/her online.When u realise that he/she isn't online and did not return your page,u will start worrying if he/she is okay. Missing someone is a way of growing up i guess. It exposes u to loneliness.It teaches u how to cope with being lonely and let u know that there is actually a feeling known as emptiness.

Sometimes it feels good to miss someone. U know that u really care and u indulge in the feeling of loving/caring for him/her.But missing someone and not knowing if he/she is feeling the same is terrible. U feel as if u are being left alone. So if u miss someone, tell him/her and let them know.At the same time, ask if they miss u.Don't let the feeling of missing someone become jealousy or paranoia. If u are the one being missed and u know it, let the other party know. if u miss him/her too, tell them. Don't let them wait.

Well, what are you waiting for then !................

its written,
If someone missing you in your absence,
It means you have done something special for him/her.

frustrating isn't it?
Pretty true to certain extent....

This is funny. Read it.